Once Upon a Time in Chicago

BB- Beet Boy
CC- Captain Carrot
BM- Broccoli man
MT- Mistress Tomato

Act 1
Scene 1
BB- This is ridiculous! 5 consecutive nights with our largest banks robbed!
CC- Yes, I know, the city is crumbling into a mashed potato. We know who it is, we know it. I can smell his revolting yucky stench and his green bushy afro. Im’a beat him up until he runs out of his V8.
BB- So what is your plans Mr Carrot?
CC- Its CAPTAIN Carrot! I did not come here all the way from New York to a punk who isn’t eve red yet!
(Captain Carrot walks out very frustrated. He slams the door behind)
SLAM!

Scene 2
BB- Gee… He seemed to be pissed off wasn’t he?
MT- Yeah… but he is so charismatic. (Imitating CC) It’s CAPTAIN Carrot!
BB- MT, I’m telling you, you can do so much better. He’s just an overly muscular carrot!
MT- But have you seen his packs? And his perfectly orange tan? Oh… what a dream he is…
BB- Yeah MT, you think whatever you want. But you’ll never understand me!
(BB runs out the door and he slams the door shut)
SLAM!!

Act 2
Scene 1
SIRENS
Polices- Freeze! We have you surrounded Broccoli man!
BM- (talking very sarcastically) Oh.. geez.. god.. BITE ME!
(Sound of small explosion and people shout looking for BM)
(Sound of a sinister laugh)
BM- HAHAHAHA
CC- Stay here squad and cover my back!
(CC runs into the bank)
(Suspenseful music plays as CC carefully tours through the building)

Scene 2
CC- You can come out now Brock; it’s only me, Carl.
(Sounds of clear sharp footsteps)
BM- Where are the other men?
CC- They are outside the building, covering my back.
(They both start to laugh and start to talk in a Italian accent)
CC- Muah! Muah! How is father Mozilla? And mother cheddar!
BM- Muah! Muah! Their good good! They’ve just opened up a new shop. A restaurant, you should come by sometimes. It’s called “Momma, Poppa! Where is the cheddar!”
BM- How is your family! How are papa and momma doing!?
CC- Good Good, couldn’t be better.
CC- What is with that hair do, an afro now?
BM- no one could recognize me. How did you know it was me?
CC- HA! Well, no one could break into the vault faster than you. You still have your cucumber face beneath that furry afro.
BM- Well… what do you want to do now… Carlito?
(Dramatic music comes in)




Act 3
Scene 1
MT- Hey BB, have you seen captain carrot around these days?
BB- Well, how should I know! Why are you always asking me these!? Don’t you know how I feel about you!?
MT- I told you before BB, your just not… red enough. You’re still a yellowish green young boy. I need someone who can out-red me. I’m sorry kiddo.
BB- Well you just wait and see! I’ll turn redder than red that you’ll be blown out from your skin.
(BB Slams door behind)
SLAM!

Scene 2
(Sad music plays)
BB- Sigh, why did my mother make me like this? All my friends are sunbathing brightening their red tans. Whenever I get a tan, I turn into a poop green!
SWOOP!
BB- Hey pal! Watch where your goin… Captain Carrot?
(The man gets up and runs very fast)
(Music suddenly changes to a more fast paced and dramatic music)
BB- Hey wait up! You dropped your wallet! Captain Carrot! Gasp.. gasp…
(BB soon gets tired and starts to gasp for air)

Act 4
Scene 1
(BB running in)
BB- MT! MT! I sa…w Cap….tain Carr….ot! (trying to catch his breath)
MT- whoa whoa slow down there kiddo. Breathe first.
BB- (breathes heavily)
BB- I saw Captain Carrot just now…
MT- Really? Where?
BB- Just down in downtown. He bumped into me. Well, he ran me over basically. Then he dropped his wallet so I called him but he would listen and he kept on running away. I tried to chase him but oh man he was fast.
MT- Do you still have that wallet
BB- Yeah! Certainly
MT- well let’s look at it; it might not be Captain Carrot’s.
BB- Ok

Scene 2
(sounds of things ruffling)
BB- hmm… lets see… three 5s… one 10. A credit card, Library Card. Oh! There is a badge~.
MT- So I guess it WAS Captain Carrot.
BB- Um.. What’s this. Lubricated… please use… safety…
(MT giggles)
BB- Shut up MT!
BB-There are lots of receipts from… Momma Poppa where is the cheddar.
MT- what is that… a restaurant?
BB- yeah or maybe like a bar, he had like five shots of V8.
MT- Yeah Yeah I heard that name before… momma poppa.. Cheddar. Remember that really notorious mobster named Carlito and Brock?
BB- yeah! Named… V’ate or something.
MT- Yeah. Their “slogan” or their sign whenever they robbed a major bank was “Momma Poppa, where is the cheddar.” And it has stopped ever since Carlito “mysteriously” disappeared. Some people say that he went underground to live quietly and some people say that he went undercover in a police force to gather major information for his families.
BB- But wouldn’t tha…
MT- And the things is! That “slogan” came back! 3 of our last 5 consecutive bank robberies, there was a saying written in black spray paint, Mother Father where is the cheddar.
BB- Then… do you think Captain Carrot has to do something with these bank robberies?
MT- He just came down from New York though, do you really think he is involved. Besides, we were the ones who called a special intelligent agent for help.
BB- I don’t know MT… I smell something very vegi around here.
MT- Hey! I’m a vegetable too!
BB- well you’re like half half.

Act 5
Scene 1
(Music playing and back ground noise of people talking)
BM- Hey Carlito. I think we’re almost ready. Just couple more days and my whole army will be here. Then, we can rule the city like in the old days
CC- Ha! Can’t wait.
(Both laugh)

Act 6
Scene 1
(Door opens and background noise of people talking)
Waiter- How many?
BB- Two
Waiter-Follow me please.
(Whispering to MT)
BB- Watch out for Captain Carrot.
MT- I really don’t think this is necessary.
BB- You’ll see Mt.

Scene 2
BB- I’ll just have a martini please
MT- Me too, dry.
(Choking on the martini)
BB- Cough! Right there! Captain Carrot! And the Broccoli Man. What are they doing together?
MT- Oh my god. You are right. What are we going to do? Bust him?
BB- No, no. We wait. We wait and follow them and then..
MT- their leaving!
BB- Ok Ok, be steady, act normal but do not reveal yourself. Follow me
(suspenseful music plays and sound of foot step and the door opens)
(a foot step sound comes in once again and door opens)

Act 7
Scene 1
BM- we’re being followed, turn left in the left corner.
(Footstep sound continues then ends. Then an approaching footstep sound continues.)
BB- They turned left corner.
(Sounds of clap and gun cocks)
CC- Well done Beety. I never would have thought that you could get this far. You know, people always doubt my abilities and I hate that. So I’m planning to show everyone what I am made out of.
BB- So you ARE Carlito! You villain! You damned smiling villain!
CC- Do not use quotes from Hamlet for I am not comparable with the peasant.
MT- Oh~ mini carrot~
BAM!
(Sound of bat swing and a blunt hit)
MT- You want some too? Bronci?!
BM- Oh… damn.
(Sounds of siren approaches)

Scene 2
MT- Hey! Your red!
BB- What? Am I really?
MT- HA! No…
BB- ARGH!! MT! Come on! You know I can’t get a tan. I’ll turn into Pooh Green! You won’t like that…
(Dialogue fades as music comes in)