Tales on a bathroom wall

As all your grief and pain flushes down clockwise with that swoosh of water, an electrifying tale has already begun in that inexplicable booth. As those four sided walls are engraved with texts and images of holy enchants, your so called “chis” exile. That’s right. In the mist of all these insignificant gibberish, I am talking to you, you poopers. We all enter that stall with a one purpose. Maybe it varies for certain situations, but majority of you and I enter that stall for a relief. Then that magical stall starts to talk to me, “I am your mama” then I answer “no you’re not”. Those undeniable questions echo through my conscience and I myself also take out a utensil and jot down my principles. Sometimes it speaks of foul languages, and sometimes it even whispers so gently in the name of love.
Those walls are like virtual Facebook and MSN for those who share the same stall. People show off their rhyme skills and punch lines to make the occupiers think. Now I am here to teach you how to write everlasting bathroom stories. Ones that will impale one’s heart and make it tingle every time he or she goes to take a dump. Writing on the bathroom wall and reading it is like good poetry. Rhyme scheme is for most effective yet simple way of getting people interested. Couplets, sonnets, haikus whatever. Ones like
Here I sit all broken hearted
Tried to shit but only farted
Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart and shit my pants
If this doesn’t get them, make them really think. Make them wonder who in the right mind would scribble this crap and still sound clever. Maybe make reference to the higher power but don’t offend them too much cause karma comes around. Some names like “Bush” is nicely established name. Sexual reference always takes up about 93% of the bathroom scribbles. Don’t be too cliché and draw a penis, be more creative. The stall is your canvas; use your brilliance for an innovative revolution.
To be a true bathroom scribbler, you must always be prepared with smooth comebacks. Your limited excess and time limit shouldn’t be a problem. Keeping these in mind, always have your pen and your creativity reloaded.
On average, a person goes through the phase of “toileting” 6 times a day. That is about 2 and half years of your life spent in that magical room. Imagine amount of people who will be inspired by your scriptures. Now I challenge you to go beyond the worlds of your imagination. It only begins with rattling noise of belts and ends with a flush of water. And in between is your time to shine. Now take that cap off and click that pen into the midst of Holy Scriptures.
Thank you.